Back to Abnormal

It’s not the most original title, but it fits rather well with my lack of real theme. This post wasn’t meant to have a certain meaning or purpose. This post is just me being me, hopefully proving that everything is as it once was. However, it has yet to be determined which once that was that this is will be.

Now, I’m likely preparing myself for Movie Review Monday as you’re reading this post. Bloggers write in SBT(Standard Blogging Time), it’s an obscure time zone that magically allows us to not actually be writing as you are reading. But, MRM: what traditionally is done to prepare for a movie review is… Well, nothing. In fact, the charm of Movie Review Monday is in the very spontaneity of it.

I’m considering reviewing “Mr. Holmes”, and by considering I mean that I have decided upon doing so. However, if you have any suggestions, I do take request. But, I’ve always been a fan of Sherlock Holmes. I read the complete collection of Arthur Conon Doyle’s works on Holmes twice, all the way through before I was twelve. It was rough because I was a shrimp of a kid and not much for muscle, and that book weighed like 40 pounds. So, I’d laying on my bunk, holding it above me so I could see the pages in the dim light. Every 6 or 7 sentences I’d have to take it down and give my arms a break.

When you have a problem like that, you always try to find a different angle. So I tried a dozen different positions, some were more effective than others, but they all eventual wore me down. I ended up putting the different positions into a rotation so that different parts of my arms got tired at different times; that way I could read longer. No one ever said reading was easy.

That’s where me and Sherlock first became pals, and I’m excited to see how this new film turns out. 

Today was better. Most of the family has gotten sick, gotten over it, or is warding it off with whatever medicines they can. Everyone is beginning to feel better, so that’s good. Life may be coming back around for us, who knows?
As always, thanks for reading.

—the anonymous novelist

Something for Sunday

I’ve neglected this blog for the past several posts, and I’d like to apologize for that. I did have the excuse of being dreadfully sick, and I can’t promise that my original caliber of writing will return anytime soon.

What has this sickness meant to me? Well, at first I concealed that I had it up until I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I think that’s what we so often do as Christians with sin: not wanting others to see our weakness we conceal our sin until we cannot. This illness has been good for me, for in the absence of all other passtimes and time wasters, I find myself alone with God. Sometimes I don’t even speak, and neither does He, but I rest in peace knowing that I am in His presence, and He comforts me.

The hardest thing for me has always been admitting when I’m sick. In part it is because I don’t feel that it’s important enough to bother people with unless I’m really, really sick. But, also because I don’t like being an inconvenience, I don’t like to make things difficult for others; so I allow myself to suffer. Please don’t see this as me glorifying this quality about myself, it’s not a good thing to try to be tough and think that you can handle things on your own. You may be able to handle the physical things, but you’ll apply that to spiritual things and find that you are way out of your league.

When we try to face sin in our own strength, we fall every single time. God has given us friends, family, and the Church for a reason. They are there to help us, but we need to admit that we need help. Like I said, I am the worst about this, but I want to do better. But even wanting to do better requires me asking for help. It starts with admitting that you’re sick, then asking God for the strength to ask others for help. Don’t try to be a superhero, because every superhero has a kryptonite.

As always, thanks for reading.

–the anonymous novelist 

The Spiritual Flu

Flu is an illness that waits until we’re succeptible through our immune system being down, then sneaks into our lives.

For some reason, this post was only partially uploaded. But, I’m really too tired to remember everything I wrote. In summary: the flu targets are minds and immobilizes us. The flu attacks our  voice and congestion silences us. The flu destroys our spirit and causes us to look at our own situation rather than on the needs of other.

I’m suffering from both a spiritual and physical flu. I pray God uses this for His glory, that He changes me by it, and that He uses me in spite of it.

As always, thanks for reading.

–the anonymous novelist

Cellular Conviction

Prayer should consume the most time of any time killer you use.

How much time do you think you spend on Flappy Bird, Clash of Clans, Game of War(heaven forbid), Facebook(sacred cow! Sacred cow! Look out!), just killing time? Really…try to figure it in your head. I once tried to estimate how much money I spent on Dr. Pepper in a year; it was difficult to figure the cost, prices vary, but I figured it to about 12,000 ounces on average. That was a brain numbing exercise. 

It’s the small things that we often overlook that take the mass majority of our time and finances. Little things add up. I resolved a while back to spend more time in prayer and in God’s word than any other activities during the day accumulative. In a thought: if I spend ten minutes on Flappy Bird or 2048, and another 20 on social media, I ought to spend 31 minutes with God. I failed miserably at this up until today. 
About a week ago I deleted every social media app from my phone, leaving only Hootsuite to manage my accounts and post every so often. For reasons without number, but in part because I didn’t wish to subject myself to evil through the association posts that appear in my feed on Facebook, I gave up the app. It wasn’t so much for the savings of time, but to remove the temptation to place any cellular app in usage and priority over God.

I this time where I’m stuck in a bed, headaches and chills besetting me, I have little else to do but pray. This sickness may have happened for a reason, just what that reason is I do not know; but God does. 

As always, thanks for reading.

–the anonymous novelist 

A Wednesday In The Life…

Today is Wednesday, meaning that you’re reading this on Thursday, that’s just how this blog thing works. Today, I will be writing at intervals with a veritable play-by-play of an atypical Wednesday in the life of Jared Allen.

10:00am

I woke up and dismounted the blow-up mattress by the door of the Cash’s house, (the friends house that we’re staying at while in Arizona), walked to the kitchen and found a pan of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls on the stove virtually untouched. After praising God for His goodness and favor toward mankind, I immediately thought, “Bacon!”. This epiphany led to me locating a skillet, opening the bacon package, and making the house smell good with its sizzling aroma.

12:00pm

Good friends brought lunch to the house which we ate, after which I obtained the hair cutting box and trimmed my own hair in the bathroom to avoid having to go to Walmart to get a haircut. (Those people are dangerous with a razor!) Here I am now, typing on my computer whilst intermittently attending to Christian’s school work, math to be precise. Tonight is Church and hopefully I will find some inspiration with which to close out this post. Until then, we’ll just see how the day goes.

2:30am

Danielle, myself, and Josh, (because I still don’t have a license. I know, I’m 19, but it’s not like there’s a ton of opprtunities for practice… And there’s only so many hours in the day), decide to drive to Walmart and pick up a few nesseccities for our time when Mom and Dad are gone. Things like: Dr. Pepper, Cookies and Cream ice cream, and fresh fruit were soon added to the cart. The drive back was only a mile but ended up taking a considerable amount of time, mainly because it takes a few times of missing your turn before you decide to try a different aproach, (EX: drive further up, make a U-turn, drive back, turn in). We made it back safe and will probably bum around for the next 3 hours.

5:00pm 

I start playing Bombsquad and invite Zach. Christian, and our friend’s little boy Dylan(8-years-old), beg to play also. After ten minutes they join in. I win 5 matches in a row and get tired of the yelling and screaming that the game induces, which was amplified due to the fact that I was sitting in a recliner and both of the younger boy’s mouths were inches behind my ears. 

We recieved news that the bus had not met up with Dad yet, and that he booked another night at the hotel in case. He can’t get in touch with the drivers, and is just waiting… Anyway, we’ll see how it turns out.

8:20pm

We are in the car, driving back to the house after the service. 

Today I realized by placing my blog on a sort of schedule, and therefore placing my life on a schedule: time is not my enemy. Time without purpose is my enemy. So, what do I need to do? Well, to start I can live by a self-imposed schedule of ordeals. I need to subject myself to inordinate intakes of the Word of God. I need to enter into arduous hours of prayer. I need to deny myself, my desires and let God take the void of time in my life and fill it with Himself. I want God to take the emptiness in my existence… I want to change.

This post has been good for me. It taught me to hope as I had scarcely allowed myself to hope before; and though the day isn’t over quite yet, there is little left in it to interest you. Tomorrow comes early for me, so I shall bid you good day. This has been a Wednesday in the life of me.

As always, thanks for reading.

—the anonymous novelist

Rebuild

Dad just left to fly out to Dallas and pick up the bus. Be looking for pictures and whatnot as I will post them as I get them. The guy who’s selling the bus is driving 16 hours from Virginia to Dallas to meet Dad there; he’s a really nice guy and has been a tremendous blessing through all of this. Not only is Dad leaving us, but Mom has left to spend time with Gabrielle and Robin in Colorado for a few days. Thus, again we are without parents. This is the third time in 3 months that they have both left; and once again, on Thursday, we will be doing a full concert without either of them.

But, the bus, and our 20th year of ministry, with the wreck and now the rebuilding, it’s been a strange year. It makes me think that God is moving our ministry into a different direction. I cannot be positive, but be watching for updates of exciting and new things happening to the Allen Family. It’s just a hunch, but I think God is rebuilding our ministry for something totally new, that’s why the bus was wrecked, that’s why the things that are happening to us are happening right now I think.

“Endless hours of free-time are best spent in the act of nothing.” 

I have failed thus far to spiritually capitalize on my current state of idleness. True, my life is constant travel and therefore work. But, contrary to what you might imagine, rather then become more productive when life slows down, I’ve become drastically less so. I thrive in work and tasks when put under great pressure and expectation, as well as harsh time restraint. My mind was built in such a way, that when given a task, it immediately responds by configuring the most concise and efficient way to complete that task.

Note: I’m not bragging on myself. If anything, this attribute has been a degradation more than a gift. At this current juncture in my life, I find myself with untold eons of time at my disposal; and rather than capitalize on this time, I waste it.

My mind doesn’t work without a pressure or a limit, rather, it finds pressure in idleness and responds in much the same way that a walnut responds to an anvil falling on it. The pressure of too much time obliterates my mind like an atom bomb, leaving nothing but a broken wasteland. In the wake of that, I rebuild, restructure, and learn to think again. 

This is what is happening to my family, we’ve been dealt a crushing blow that has decimated our lives and ministry. Now, it’s time to realize our situation, for what it is: a chance to reform and rebuild. Then, we need to act upon that, and not only rebuild our private lives and our home, but also our public lives and our ministry. It’s time we rethink where we stand and what our purpose is.

I’m not saying that any of this happened as a result of someone or something done wrong, but I’m not saying it didn’t. I’m not saying any of this is directly our fault, but I’m not saying it isn’t. If this was God’s way of giving us a wake-up call, then don’t let it take a disaster for God to get your attention. Start now by following Him with all of you heart. But, for me, right now, it’s time to rebuild.

I can’t do it alone. I need your help, and most importantly God’s help to grow in the way He needs me to grow. 

As always, thanks for reading.

—the anonymous novelist

MRM: Alvin and the Chipmunks

I didn’t want to review this film, and after I had reviewed it, I didn’t want to post the review; mostly, because this film is… Well-, stupid. However, I was caught off guard this Monday and had nothing in que to review this week: hence Chipmunks.

“Alvin and the Chipmunks” was possibly one of the first films to bring one of the old cartoon series back to life on the “Big Screen”. It starts off feeling very “Air Bud” from the music in the opening sequence, then ruins it with the cheesiness of Dave. For some reason, Jason Lee just doesn’t feel like Dave. Maybe it’s his voice that sounds like he’s speaking through a cloth. Or maybe it’s his goofiness beyond all reason. As Dave, but also as a real person in this story, Jason Lee does not work.
Also, the Chipmunks know what garbage cans, muffins, and cheese balls are, but they don’t know what a kitchen is. I mean, sure, stay in the grand tradition of the old series and make them idiot geniuses, but they forfeited that with the new concept and storyline.

This movie pairs cuteness, with crass crudeness. It’s sad that they couldn’t preserve the part of the Chipmunks we loved the most: their innocence. They were funny because they were so ignorant of the world and how it worked, yet it seemed the world worked for them. The beauty of the original story was that it built the world around the Chipmunks, it didn’t try to fit them into the world.

Just to let you know how well I was enjoying the movie, the snacks were gone in the first ten minutes. It’s just that, the movie tries so hard to have some heart. Whether in Dave’s relationship with the Chipmunks, or his love life, it tries desperately to show some kind of heart that is just not there.

This movie is beyond stupid… But what was the message?

Well, to start, they tried to say that family was more important than anything… Even that was messed up because the family wasn’t even a family to begin with. It’s almost ridiculous to even review this film because it is so completely stupid on every single level. It begins so hopeful for a reliving of the Chipmunks, and ends with you hating yourself for watching it.

There was no message, the worldview was actually decent despite the story, and the acting was… So, if you were thinking about watching the 4th Alvin and the Chipmunks, don’t. I can promise you that it will be worse than the first.

As always, thanks for reading.

–the anonymous novelist

Crash Test Dummies

So… I’m not going to lie, I thought of the title for this post ten seconds ago. Really, I had somewhat of a plan approaching this post, but I’m going to write my content completely based upon my title. I do that sometimes. I’m human, and quirks like basing posts off of titles rather than titles off of posts is one of those things about me that you either learn to love or live with.

So much has been happening to my family, and by osmosis, myself, that it has been a labor for me to write blog posts. This blog is my life in written word, it allows people into a part of my mind; and I must be candid, I don’t like people knowing things about me. I don’t like opening up to others, because I’m a writer and the mystery aspect to my character is lost; but also because I’m a human, and my pride sets up a wall to rival “The Great Wall of China” when I’m called to be honest about myself.

Even from this blog, a place where I feel safe and protected enough that I open my mind and my world to all of you, I hold something back. There is a depth to me that you may never understand, either because I am too afraid to allow you in, or because it is safer if you stay on the outside.

Things have been happening to my family that I cannot divulge right now. Every possible evil we could’ve imagined has attempted to rend this family apart since the bus wreck. Strife, contention, anger, and a host of other invasive emotions pollute our lives from events that seem engineered to bring disention and disparity to our family and its ministry.

It’s like we’re crash test dummies on the ride of our lives. Except that instead of one brick wall, there’s a dozen of them, one right after the other. Life is crashing down on my family right now. Maybe you can relate… I know some of my friends have been where I am, some are even here with me now, but in circumstances of their own.

When you feel like a crash test dummy, doomed to failure at the end of the line, nowhere to turn left or right, moving too fast to turn back, and in front is death or pain: look up. The only way of escape is found in Christ’s ability to walk on the water: if we step out in faith with our eyes on Him, we can walk upon the storms.

This is where I’m at. This is who I am. Not all of me, but some of the weakest parts of me. I need as much grace as the next guy, and probably so much more. I’m nothing special, but my cause has warranted special attention from the Evil One. A cause that can kick Satan in the pants so hard that he throws his power at it to crush its life, that’s a cause worth living for: even if it means being a crash test dummy.

As always, thanks for reading.

—the anonymous novelist

Why Do They Do This?

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
-Jeremiah 17:9

I can’t be positive, but I think this passage was written with young teens and middle schoolers in mind. 

Why do twelve-year-olds have girlfriends? A better question might be: why do twelve-year-olds have girlfriends and I don’t? I’m totally kidding. But, it is true that the younger kids get everything before me: girlfriends, my nephew got a pair of converse shoes before me; and he’s 2!The list goes on…

Seriously now, why are young kids in “relationships”? When did this become normal, but also, how and why is this happening to the world and will we survive middle school romance? There comes a time in every young girl’s life when she starts to look at young men differently. This is also true of the young men beginning to see young ladies differently, but God must love a good joke, because this happens at a different age. It is so perfectly timed, that girls begin to “like” guys, approximately 3 years before guys begin to truly like girls.

This creates many awkward situations, as you may have witnessed. However, every so often, two freaks of nature will view each other as “boyfriend and girlfriend”, at 12 years of age. Now, I don’t know if there is even feelings on either side or if they just do it because they see us older kids doing it, but something is seriously wrong with this. 

First off, how is a twelve-year-old kid supposed to be expected to know what they feel, how they feel, if they feel, and how to respond to those feelings? The heart is deceitful, desperately wicked, and bent on the destruction of every father’s peaceful life. Middle school romances ruin life for the rest of us who have to sit around and hear about them.

Feelings are treacherous, the heart is an enemy, and overall, I’m sick to death, (well, maybe not quite), of love. Our hearts can think of nothing but selfish desires and wants.

Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
-James 4:3

We are beings of passion, and it gets us into trouble more often than not. If we learn to harness our feelings, our fire and passions, we are capable of great things. But, if we waste our passion and fall into something stupid like love at a young age, we get hurt. Love isn’t meant to be understood: God is love. He will give you love at the right time, for the right one. Wait. 

That was disjointed and rough, but it’s all I’ve got for today. As always, thanks for reading.

–the anonymous novelist

The Devil Made Me Do It

The oldest lie in scripture, the oldest lie in all of history, is the lie “The Devil made me do it”. First things first, Eve was in the garden and the serpent told her to eat of the fruit, she said that God told them no, and so the serpent gives his lame deception. Well, Eve had never encountered deception and didn’t know how to handle it, yet, she knew responsibilty and respect, and disobeyed anyway. 

Alright, so we’re caught up. What stands out in this story that causes us to think the Eve may have been more at fault than the serpent? Wait a minute-, did I just say that the serpent wasn’t at fault? Yes, the serpent was more innocent than Eve, or rather, they were equally guilty, as both played a part in this sin.

Here are the facts: the serpent(Satan) tempted Eve by offering her a fruit from the plant God had outlawed, Eve took it and ate it.

It seems to be straight forward, the Devil made her do it, right? Wrong. Let’s take this back to The Book.

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

—Genesis 3:6

What, in this passage implies that Eve knew what she was doing? What would give me reason to blame this on her?

The Bible says, quote- “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit...“- unquote. Do you know what that says to me? It says that Eve tempted herself. Eve convinced herself by sense, (the fruit was useful), by her senses, (the fruit was appealing), and by sensibility, (the fruit was alluring), so she took it. Sure, Satan opened the door, but Eve’s own heart betrayed her, telling her to eat the fruit.

Nowhere in this scene do we see any reference to Eve wondering why God told her not to eat of the fruit. The Scriptures don’t say that “Eve looked upon the fruit and remembered the words of God telling her not to eat of it”, it doesn’t say that “Eve thought about what she was doing”. The Bible says, (paraphrase), that every part of Eve convinced her to forget God and follow her heart.

The Devil didn’t make her do it. The Devil didn’t make the tree, or Eve, or the fruit. The Devil cannot make anything, he can only disrupt what God makes. Eve made Eve sin, the Devil just helped.

Now, Eve got special attention because she was the first lady, so I don’t want to hear you say, “the Devil made me do it”. Let me tell you, the Devil has bigger fish to fry than to make you steal a comic book or cheat on a math test. 

Be realistic, you made yourself do it. That’s one of the consequences of a free will. If we would start taking responsibility for our actions, we’d be a much more mature people…and they wonder why humanity is getting dumber and dumber as centuries pass, we’re crediting our actions on others, namely Satan, but also God, and avoiding both censure and punishment, as well as praise and reward. How can we grow if we do not own our actions. Take responsibility for yourself, and give credit, even if it’s bad credit, where credit’s due.

As always, thanks for reading.

—the anonymous novelist