Our Plans For His Purpose

I was scrolling down my Facebook feed last night, mindlessly searching and purposefully praying for inspiration to jump from the lifeless words on my screen. It’s a habit I have been in the custom of keeping when long hours of work, pressure, and distraction have drained my creative stimulation for the day. I needed a post for this morning and had nothing prepared. Several thoughts leapt to mind and I had even written portions of posts before scrapping the ideas altogether. So, I wandered Facebook and asked God for something, anything.

Thank God for friends like this. Guy Batton is a close minded friend of mine who always happens to pull through when I need him most. This time even without knowing it. I ran across this post last night and stopped on it for several minutes, pondering and thanking God for it. It was a reposted message he had written back in 2012, a dream he had for the future: his prayer for his life. This is what I read:

I pray that my life can be used to do something meaningful. And not like… “oh, you held the door for someone!” or ” oh, you gave a homeless person clothes.”
I want to change nations. Move mountains by my faith alone. I want to live on the edge, live the impossible. I want to really, truly, fully live. Even if it causes my death.

He then, followed the post with a comment of how his point of view had changed since the time of the original post, and he wrote this:

I now see that, in light of the eternal kingdom of God, my little things like holding the door for others have significance and meaning because God doesn’t plan to simply scrap this world, but to bring Christ’s kingdom to it. Praise God that people aren’t doomed to be stuck in the errors of their ways.

That stopped me dead in my tracks. This was a message. This was something people struggle with. This was what I needed to write about.

Do the little things we do make a difference? Is Guy right? Was he right before? What manner of heart does God prefer? Sometimes I believe that God wants us to reach as far as we can see, and dream beyond as far as we can reach; that God wants creative, imaginative, inspiring people to bring His message to the world in the most efficient and effective way.

Then other times, I believe God likes using the humble, the simple, the average and ordinary folk. But which is it? I’ve always heard that if you want to make God laugh, then tell Him your plans. But does God really care so little about what we think and what we aspire to be that He would make mockery and sport of us? No. We were not created for God’s amusement, but for His pleasure.

So does God mock our plans? No, He loves us and cares about what we do and what we think we want to become. He loves a yielded and surrendered heart. He loves spontaneity for He says to be instant in season and out of season, to always be ready to give a defense and an answer. But, He also loves using our plans for His glory. Our plans for God’s purpose is called vision. Vision meaning a plan of future ministry for God’s glory. God loves to use the spirited, the bold, the dreamers, the visionaries. But He also seems to choose the meek, the underestimated, the lowly, and the downtrodden.

You’ll find that the best way to make yourself useful and available is a mixture of vision and spiritual brokenness. We must realize our spiritual depravity and daily die to ourselves, asking for God to make our plans His purposes.

God also says to despise not the day of small things. So, the little things like holding a door, a kind gesture here, a helping hand there, they really do matter to God. But, what’s more important, a willing heart, or a vision for the future? Well, both are necessary, we need to see beyond ourselves to the future and how God would use us, but we also should not shun the small things that get us to that point. If we are faithful over few He will make us ruler over many.

See, our plans or our flexibility and availability are not as important as our willingness and our surrender. Give your plans to God’s purpose and allow the vision to overtake you. Move mountains with your faith, but if you have not love, even in something as small as offering a cup of water or holding a door in His name, you have nothing. Christ wants you, all of you. Your plans, your lack of plans, and your simple acts of kindness when given to God, can be your greatest purpose. God will use you in whatever way He will use you. Just surrender.

As always, thanks for reading.

–the anonymous novelist

Rebuild

Dad just left to fly out to Dallas and pick up the bus. Be looking for pictures and whatnot as I will post them as I get them. The guy who’s selling the bus is driving 16 hours from Virginia to Dallas to meet Dad there; he’s a really nice guy and has been a tremendous blessing through all of this. Not only is Dad leaving us, but Mom has left to spend time with Gabrielle and Robin in Colorado for a few days. Thus, again we are without parents. This is the third time in 3 months that they have both left; and once again, on Thursday, we will be doing a full concert without either of them.

But, the bus, and our 20th year of ministry, with the wreck and now the rebuilding, it’s been a strange year. It makes me think that God is moving our ministry into a different direction. I cannot be positive, but be watching for updates of exciting and new things happening to the Allen Family. It’s just a hunch, but I think God is rebuilding our ministry for something totally new, that’s why the bus was wrecked, that’s why the things that are happening to us are happening right now I think.

“Endless hours of free-time are best spent in the act of nothing.” 

I have failed thus far to spiritually capitalize on my current state of idleness. True, my life is constant travel and therefore work. But, contrary to what you might imagine, rather then become more productive when life slows down, I’ve become drastically less so. I thrive in work and tasks when put under great pressure and expectation, as well as harsh time restraint. My mind was built in such a way, that when given a task, it immediately responds by configuring the most concise and efficient way to complete that task.

Note: I’m not bragging on myself. If anything, this attribute has been a degradation more than a gift. At this current juncture in my life, I find myself with untold eons of time at my disposal; and rather than capitalize on this time, I waste it.

My mind doesn’t work without a pressure or a limit, rather, it finds pressure in idleness and responds in much the same way that a walnut responds to an anvil falling on it. The pressure of too much time obliterates my mind like an atom bomb, leaving nothing but a broken wasteland. In the wake of that, I rebuild, restructure, and learn to think again. 

This is what is happening to my family, we’ve been dealt a crushing blow that has decimated our lives and ministry. Now, it’s time to realize our situation, for what it is: a chance to reform and rebuild. Then, we need to act upon that, and not only rebuild our private lives and our home, but also our public lives and our ministry. It’s time we rethink where we stand and what our purpose is.

I’m not saying that any of this happened as a result of someone or something done wrong, but I’m not saying it didn’t. I’m not saying any of this is directly our fault, but I’m not saying it isn’t. If this was God’s way of giving us a wake-up call, then don’t let it take a disaster for God to get your attention. Start now by following Him with all of you heart. But, for me, right now, it’s time to rebuild.

I can’t do it alone. I need your help, and most importantly God’s help to grow in the way He needs me to grow. 

As always, thanks for reading.

—the anonymous novelist

The Devil Made Me Do It

The oldest lie in scripture, the oldest lie in all of history, is the lie “The Devil made me do it”. First things first, Eve was in the garden and the serpent told her to eat of the fruit, she said that God told them no, and so the serpent gives his lame deception. Well, Eve had never encountered deception and didn’t know how to handle it, yet, she knew responsibilty and respect, and disobeyed anyway. 

Alright, so we’re caught up. What stands out in this story that causes us to think the Eve may have been more at fault than the serpent? Wait a minute-, did I just say that the serpent wasn’t at fault? Yes, the serpent was more innocent than Eve, or rather, they were equally guilty, as both played a part in this sin.

Here are the facts: the serpent(Satan) tempted Eve by offering her a fruit from the plant God had outlawed, Eve took it and ate it.

It seems to be straight forward, the Devil made her do it, right? Wrong. Let’s take this back to The Book.

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

—Genesis 3:6

What, in this passage implies that Eve knew what she was doing? What would give me reason to blame this on her?

The Bible says, quote- “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit...“- unquote. Do you know what that says to me? It says that Eve tempted herself. Eve convinced herself by sense, (the fruit was useful), by her senses, (the fruit was appealing), and by sensibility, (the fruit was alluring), so she took it. Sure, Satan opened the door, but Eve’s own heart betrayed her, telling her to eat the fruit.

Nowhere in this scene do we see any reference to Eve wondering why God told her not to eat of the fruit. The Scriptures don’t say that “Eve looked upon the fruit and remembered the words of God telling her not to eat of it”, it doesn’t say that “Eve thought about what she was doing”. The Bible says, (paraphrase), that every part of Eve convinced her to forget God and follow her heart.

The Devil didn’t make her do it. The Devil didn’t make the tree, or Eve, or the fruit. The Devil cannot make anything, he can only disrupt what God makes. Eve made Eve sin, the Devil just helped.

Now, Eve got special attention because she was the first lady, so I don’t want to hear you say, “the Devil made me do it”. Let me tell you, the Devil has bigger fish to fry than to make you steal a comic book or cheat on a math test. 

Be realistic, you made yourself do it. That’s one of the consequences of a free will. If we would start taking responsibility for our actions, we’d be a much more mature people…and they wonder why humanity is getting dumber and dumber as centuries pass, we’re crediting our actions on others, namely Satan, but also God, and avoiding both censure and punishment, as well as praise and reward. How can we grow if we do not own our actions. Take responsibility for yourself, and give credit, even if it’s bad credit, where credit’s due.

As always, thanks for reading.

—the anonymous novelist

Panhandlers in the Panhandle

I’m in Florida, Palmetto to be precise. We pull into a Walmart after a concert. I get out of the van, just to walk around and am immediately stopped by ragged looking man who inquires about the name on the side of our trailer. This, he uses to segway into being a Christian, loving God, and needing money.

I hate people like this. I know they say “love the sinner, hate the sin”, but I hate the sinner in this case. Though, I do have a valid reason: they make me feel terrible about myself. I’m a compassionate fellow by nature, if I got paid more I would give away more whether its in buying presents for friends, covering someones bill for a meal or drink, or giving money to a panhandler with a sob story. I am doomed to be forever low on money because of my inhumane generosity and idiotic amount of compassion. I feel a sense of obligation to help, then regret the state of my finances.

Really, compassion has been more of a hurt to me than a help. For compassion without discernment is a useless waste of time and money.

Compassion is just an excuse to be broke.

It’s hard not to feel sorry for those people who beg for money. But, they do, they make me feel awful. And it’s not necessarily that they make me feel like a bad person, but the make me feel like a jerk for giving them money. If there was a genuine need, I wouldn’t think twice about giving them money, but when I drive off and see that same person walk to the next vehicle to beg for more… I just feel like such a jerk and I hate that they do it to me.

I know I’m going to end up giving them money if I have any, and I hate that. As soon as they pull me aside, I have too much dignity to refuse them conversation, too much pride to walk away, and too much compassion to send them away with nothing. I hate it, I really do; because it’s a waste of the time and resources God has gifted me with to use for His kingdom’s advancement.

But what can a guy do? Do I harden myself, change who I am to be able to conserve my money and turn a blank eye and cold shoulder to the panhandlers, beggars, and moochers? Consequently turning a cold shoulder and a blind eye to the real needs of genuine people. I want to be able to give when there is a need, and I can’t help but give when there isn’t really a valid need.

How to be a Christian without compassion…? I have the nasty habit of giving money that I don’t have to people. I have cash, but it’s on loan from others and I end up deeper in debt for giving to a false damsel in distress, more like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

This is the retrospective introspect of a temporarily psychopathic, schizophrenic introverted extrovert of an artist. I’m a mess… but that’s okay. The struggle I have is in finding a cause to follow. Once I follow something, everything else follows. I dedicate myself and my finances, time, and energy will be devoted to that cause and not frivolously cast upon the breeze. Find a cause you can fight for, cling to, and follow it.

As always, thanks for reading.

—the anonymous novelist

The Bloody Cross

A crucifix sits on the mantle, above the hearth that stood for the warmth and security of the home in which he lived. That solitary crucifix represented his faith and his master’s sacrifice, but he never looked at it: it hurt too much think about all that Christ had done for him… and what he had done in for Christ. The cross of conviction was too much to bear. The cross of commitment was upon the mantle ever always, but what can a shelved symbol profit? How can a caged crucifix convict the heart of a lost soul?
A candle under a basket will either be stifled, or will grow too strong to be contained and burn the basket.
The cross of Christ is a cruel symbol of pain and suffering, the final sacrifice to snatch sinners from the jaws of a fiery Hell.

What price is then too great for us to pay to save just one more from everlasting death? What excuse then can we proffer to justify not taking action in a radical way? Can we keep silent in good conscience while dying men and woman, crying for mercy and peace scream to hear the truth of God’s love?
Who are we to be satisfied with our salvation alone? Are we thus content with our own security of eternity to condemn countless others to a wretched torment? Can we live with ourselves while others die with their selves?
The bloody cross rides on the back of an innocent man. His beatings horrific. His skin: a bloody pulp of human flesh. His completion like death streaked in scarlet from the thorny crown piercing His brow.
The bloody cross lays itself down at the place of the scull as the man who bore it’s shame is forced to lay upon it. A spike, a mallet, a cry of pain as metal pierces flesh, pinning His hand to the bloody cross.

The bloody cross is raised up for all to see the innocent man being slain in cruel agony. His forgiveness emanating in exothermic explosions of grace. For His righteousness was absolute, His love was infinite, His heart was broken, His life was given, death’s keys were taken, and eternity can be received.

The bloody cross is not something we should shun or turn away from because of its gruesome history. The cross of Christ is a burden we must bear. Its horror should inspire us, should drive us, should comfort us. His death brought life, His cross and sacrifice are symbols of mercy, of a God that loved us to death. If Christ be lifted up, He will draw all men unto Himself. The bloody cross should be displayed upon our highest steeples, on our largest walls, on our necks, and in our conversations. A constant reminder that the price of redemption is everything He had, and that God asks nothing less of us.

Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all. Here’s is a song that puts into words the calling of the bloody cross like no other: “When I Survey the Wondrous Cross”.

As always, thanks for reading.

–the anonymous novelist

The War Within

This is the second movie review that I have done on this blog. The first was of the new Christian film, “Providence”, which releases in 2016. You can read that review by clicking here.

I was wary of this film when I discovered it was the Varvel’s first feature film. Actually, the very first time I heard about it I was excited; because when they said Varvel, I heard Marvel and instantly my expectations for this Christian film shot up. It’s always interesting to see the beginning of a group’s career, to see the potential for greatness and the attention to detail which often gets lost in the films from larger companies. A first or second film always has a brilliant story, and that’s the big appeal of “The War Within”.

The idea for the film came from a sermon that the director’s pastor preached on the different functions of the human soul. He spoke on how the mind, emotions, will, heart, conscience, and memory interact with one another to bring about the decisions and choices we make. So, in reality, this movie was an, “Inside Out”, for adults, though it came out before “Inside Out” and actually had a point.

For this review I’m going to break down the 4 major areas of film, rating each area between 1 and 10 stars. A total summary and rating will be given at the end of this post.  Note: any and all views expressed in this post are opinions from a highly critical analyst.

ACTING:

The first area of a film, especially a Christian film that anyone notices is the acting. This is an area where Independent films from both Christian and secular worldviews struggle. The acting in, “The War Within”, was very specific. Those Characters which existed in the soul of the main character Michael Sinclair, (Brett Varvel), had a specific function, that function was also their personality and they dwelt exclusively in that area. For example: the character of Will, (Gary Varvel), acted as the will of a person would: only acting upon what the mind, heart, memory, emotions, and conscience wanted for the body. Thus, those members of the soul were portrayed very accurately and the acting was very good, considering the nature of the roles they had to play. Throughout the rest of the movie the acting quality ranges from moderately good, to very good. The actor/writer double play of Brett Varvel shows his versatility as he not only played the main character, Michael Sinclair, but also the character of Heart.

The acting was never superb, but bear in mind that this is the Varvel’s first feature film. I give the acting 6 out of 10 stars.

VISUAL EFFECTS:

The special effects were well done, in many cases the scenes looked like something out of the old Star Wars films or the Skyrim games. There were no car chases, no gunman scenes, but there was quite a bit of wizard-type lightning wars, as seen above. The effects did not distract or detract from the scenes or the story, and I enjoyed the fact that the visual effects broke up some of the drama of the story. There were some action sequences and a few mildly intense themes throughout the film, but taken into context of what the actions meant and how they apply to what happens in our own spiritual lives, there is nothing in this movie that would not make it appropriate for the whole family. Though in the case of very young children, I leave that to the discretion of the parents.

For the caliber of the visual effects, and the usage of them to build a scene without making it looking cheesy or unprofessional, I give them a solid 7.

STORY:

Just as in writing, many movies will be watched, and repeatedly watched just for their stories; “The War Within” is no exception to this universal fact. The concept of the film is its real draw; the story is unique in its explanation of the soul. What was a neat thing for me was that I saw so many of the scriptures being played out before my eyes, many were likely even unintentional on the part of the screenwriters. The perfection with which the film portrayed the human decisions making process was so accurate that it nailed every Bible verse on the subject.

If for no other reason, buy the movie and watch it just for the story. Excellent job on the part of the writers, the story earns a 9.

REWATCHABILITY:

That’s a funny word, but it basically means, that the movie is worth watching multiple times. For all its charms and flaws, “The War Within”, is a great movie and an inspiring movie. It leaves its viewers thinking and examining their lives. It is no worse in quality than the Kendrick Brother’s first film, “Flywheel”, and is just as classic. Because of the type of film that it was, however, it does not have a huge draw for multiple watches. Does this movie have rewatchability? Yes. But, the question is, how much?

Well, there are several things that could have been done better, but there are also things that were spot on. In terms of rewatchability, I give this film a 5.

OVERALL RATING:

In each of the four areas I hit on, “The War Within”, scored the average or above, which is 5. It is a Christian film, which means automatically that it had a small budget. It is also a beginning film for the Varvels, meaning that it will not be perfect. Lastly, it is challenging story to do correctly, meaning that it will take experience in filmmaking that the Varvels do not yet have. Overall, I give this film 7 out of 10 stars, and look forward to what comes next from the Varvels.

The film was entered into film festivals in 2014 and has been showered with awards by many prominent Christian Film critics. Even though it was not perfect, I very much enjoyed it. Several of the character roles were masterfully played, but again, the story is the real draw. The film was inspiring, and I encourage you to pick up a copy today. Click here to watch the trailer for the film.

As always, thanks for reading. Like, comment, follow, and check me out on social.

Twitter: @EJaredAllen

Instagram: @ejaredallen

—the anonymous novelist

Grace According To Thermodynamics

 Random Garfield comics are back! At least for today they are. Again, they have no bearing whatsoever on the post, at least not intentionally. Enjoy. Energy: we cannot create it or destroy it. Energy has always existed since the beginning of the world, and there is a limited supply of it. Energy is the force by which all things exist, it moves in and through us, sustaining life, action, heat, and light; thereby also sustaining color, sound, feel, taste, smell, emotion, gravity, and everything else that is. Energy has to be activated, it is stored within all living things and needs to be released in order to work it’s full power and potential. This is the first law of thermodynamics.

Wood, as in the most common kind that often gets burned in campfires, stores and immense amount of energy. When lit, the energy is released and creates heat. 

Energy has to be ignited to be activated.

Here are two basic kinds of energy:

Potential Energy- energy that is stored

Kinetic Energy- energy that is in motion 

I don’t want to talk about science, at least not right now. I want to talk about spiritual thermodynamics. In every human there is stored a wealth of potential energy. From the moment they are born, they have the potential to be a power source. However, before the energy can be released or activated, it must be ignited by some outside source. Let’s use The Holy Spirit as a for instant: when you get saved, that is to say, when you become cognizant of your depraved condition, repent of your transgressions against God, and get radically rescued from sin, the Holy Spirit takes up residence in your life; He ignites you.

Energy once ignited is no longer potential energy, (having a concealed power), but kenetic energy and is moving and active. But, as the energy expends from the firewood, the flames subside until ash is all that remains. 

The heart is a furnace, it is our responsibility to keep it stocked with spiritual kindling: the preparation for the blaze. When we prepare our hearts for the Holy Spirit, He comes and sets aflame the embers of our souls to burn for Christ. 

God’s gift to man is grace. What is grace? Everything that man does not deserve and could never earn: grace. Happiness, joy, peace, fulfillment, security, hope, it’s all a product of a life lived for Christ. Those gifts are grace and they come when we decide to live alive and full of energy. 

When the Holy Spirit ignites the fires of our heart, that’s grace, because every good gift from the Father comes from that. So, when energy is set ablaze in our lives, we become active for Christ and in motion: that’s kenetic energy. Once we are in motion for Christ we can tell others about how they can unleash their inner fire, which is potential energy. 

Stock the store house of your life and keep the furnace filled with kindling. That’s grace according to thermodynamics.

As always, thanks for reading, enjoy your Sunday, and go unleash your potential energy.

–the anonymous novelist

Nightlights

I don’t care about the lost world, living under the shroud of darkness that prevents the light from breaking through. I don’t care about the hell bound souls without hope and peace who will burn in everlasting torment because of my silence. I don’t even care about you, my readers, you can go jump off a cliff for all I care.

I apologize, I did not mean any of those things, they are my first illustration. Those statements are harsh, cutting, hurtful things to say. No doubt you did not think very kindly of me when you read them. Assumptions and ideas jumped into your head. You would never say these things, you would never make such angry accusations against innocent people. Yet, if we have darkness in our hearts, if we harbor evil in our souls, we are hindering the power of God in our lives. If we do anything to inhibit, limit, or prevent God from moving in and through us. We make those statements in our hearts. I heard it said: “You are as comitted to God as you want to be”. 

Your closeness in a relationship with Almighty God depends entirely upon you. God makes conditional promises: draw nigh unto me and I will draw nigh unto you. That is a promise from God himself, the closer we get to Him, the closer He will get to us. That is why the statement, “You are as comitted to God as you want to be”, is so accurate. It depends upon you: what you do, how you live, if you regard or harbor sin in your heart and in your life. Is there darkness in you? Are you hiding the light of Christ? 

If I’m preaching to the choir, then the choir needs to hear it most. I often examine my life, my ministry and that of my family and ask myself: “What in my life is preventing this from moving foreward? What am I doing that is inhibiting God from doing miraculous things with my family?” 

Those are tough questions with tough answers. But, conviction isn’t my job, correction is. The Holy Spirit living inside of me brings conviction, and based upon that conviction of my sins I first acknowledge I was wrong, then aim to correct my life. We don’t often realize it, but when we regard sin in our hearts, when our lives hinder the work of God in our personal ministry and the ministries we are connected to, we are essentially making those statement with which I opened this post. 

I don’t care about the lost world, living under the shroud of darkness that prevents the light from breaking through. I don’t care about the hell bound souls without hope and peace who will burn in everlasting torment because of my silence.

If something in our life is hindering God working in and through us, it is the same as if we cast those souls in Hell ourselves because our testimony may have been the only gospel they ever heard. The burden of the gospel is a heavy one, one that all Christians have been called to bear. We have been entrusted with the gospel, we were counted worthy to share in the sufferings of Christ. The spreading of the gospel is not a responsibility to be taken lightly.

What are you doing to spread the light of Christ? What has God called you to? Are you lifting up Jesus that all men may be drawn unto Him? We are called to be lights in a dark world. Just one light shining against utter darkness can be seen by men a great distance off. Light is powerful, light peirces darkness, light is life. Let all of us be Nightlights.

As always, thanks for reading, like, comment, follow my blog and check me out on social.

Twitter: @EJaredAllen

Instagram: @ejaredallen

—the anonymous novelist

Transposed Thoughts

I was recently made aware of a conversation my sister had been having with an online classmate for an AP English and Composition class she is taking. She told me of how her and her fellow student had been discussing versions of the Bible–if you know my family, you know that is an important area for us– and she had referred this classmate to my blog post where I talked about versions of the Bible.

Apparently, I had said something of value in that post, which caused the person to think about what version of the Bible they were reading and the reasons behind it. I’m grateful for the impact, however small it might seem, that this blog is making in peoples’ lives. 

I truly dedicate the best of myself to the one post I write each day. However, my best is judged on an ill balanced scale and is often vastly different from day to day. So, you my dear readers, get the good, the bad, and the ugly of me every day. I hope you feel special. 🙂

I began this blog for two primary reasons. One: I was in a position where I felt a need to write; my ideas were in an excess and I had not the means of expressing myself any other way. So, I poured my soul into blogging on what is now a daily regimen. My second reason for starting this blog was that I wanted to make a difference in the world, no matter how small. I am an artist, I am a writer, my creativity is my greatest attribute, and the only way I know to express my emotions is through writing.

Though I labor writing a post every day, there is the pressure to post quality content, I do not begrudge it. I enjoy the task of finding a purpose for each post. But, even the most capable of men and women need a bit of encouragement every now and again. That conversation of my sister and her classmate was my encouragement this week. I challenge you to encourage someone even today. Say something nice, lift them up, a single word of encouragement can let them know you care and help them carry on. 

Paul often wrote to churches and brothers in Christ to encourage them, telling them to stay strong in the faith and be of good courage. With all the enemies Christianity has out to destroy it, brothers and sister in Christ need to be supporting and uplifting one another. If we’re not looking out for each other, watching each other’s backs, then no one is.

There is security and warmth in the encouragement of friends. To know that those you care about are on your side and with you come what may, is one of the greatest feelings in the world. But, there will always be those who want to stifle your joy, to douse your fire. And this can be accomplished by a variety of methods. 

Often for me it occurs when I am diverting myself in a mindless conversation, (also known as a mild argument), attempting to forget the busyness and complexity of life in a meaningless squabble about nothing; I find myself many a time engaging in such trifling quarrels of wit and then falling under the realization that I was disturbing or disrupting the same diverting calmness in another person. To simplify things, when I am arguing, it tends to upset others before I realize it.

The words that then ensue are contrary to my carefree and easy-going spirit. I break and my heart drops, the little things that I do, seemingly for simple diversion can cause the greatest conflict in my life when reactionaries respond to them. I apologize for making myself the victim in this case, I am more often wrong than right in these things. 

But, even from within we can be discouraged, our fires quelled and spirits dispelled. You see all the more the need for encouragement from Christian brothers and sisters. Go encourage someone today.

As always, thanks for reading.

—the anonymous novelist

To Make A Difference

These are the days which I spend in long hours of interospective interrogation, reflections upon my life and the world in general. My thoughts are filled with questions of purpose. What is my purpose? Am I making a difference? What does God want me to be doing?

Like a plague these questions bedazzle my mind’s eyes, the sheer depth of them is a constant reminder of my failure to capitalize on my current state of idleness. I’m in a rut where I hear nothing from God but silence. He is constant, yet quite, and I am unsure if it is for my sake, or because of my lack of faith.

The nagging feeling that something in my life is holding me back from fulfilling the Will of God for me, it lays heavy on my heart. Many a night I’ve spent in doubt, questioning my desires and plans; oft times I scoff at my own lack of direction and purpose as if it were God’s fault that I am dormant.

I need, have needed, and will always need revival for my soul. The day to day travail of doing nothing when a wealth of time is before me has taken its toll on my mind. It is maddening to think that I may be the cause of my own failures when I so desperately want to succeed. Am I not asking the right questions? Am I not praying for the right things?

Guidance from a heavenly source is my sought after desire of the moment. Lord, what would you have me do? Show me the way. It is in times such as these, when lethargy and troubling doubt falls upon my soul, that I turn to God’s bridge for me: music.

Music is my island, my escape. I don’t have to think, I’m taken away from my troubles on the wings of a song. That is why I am so excited about this week. This week is the week of the National Quartet Convention or NQC, in Pigeon Forge, TN. NQC is the largest event in Southern Gospel Music, a week of singing with over 144 artists performing and hundreds of exhibitors. The days, from 4-11 are filled with music from some of my favorite artists, including my own family. 

If ever there was an event, a time to be revived, resuscitated from my living death it is here and it is now. 

Music, like no other element, stirs my heart and rocks my soul in ways I cannot even express. The feelings run deeper when I know the singers on a personal level and their songs mean more to me. I want a difinitive word from God. I want a clear yes or no, but that’s not what he wants for me right now. Perhaps only in searching can we find meaning. If I were content I would not be longing, if I were satisfied I would not be looking, if I were al-knowing I would not be wondering.

God wants me to come to Him on His terms, not mine. And, though I know what to do, I don’t always act upon it. I want to know things now, my flesh fails in virtues such as patience. But, God loves me enough to conceal it, my future, He keeps me yearning for Him and His words by hiding a treasure that will one day be revealed. 

Though I hate the wait, I love the master. I trust His timing is what I need, and all things He has brought together for my good because I love Him. Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart.

As always, thanks for reading, it means a lot.

–the anonymous novelist