It’s Not About Me

Today is Monday. I have been struggling a little with writing a post for today because there’s this pressure to be inspirational, to be spiritual and uplifting. The funny thing is, pressure always seems to fall on me, and never seems to fall on God. Why is it that I’m the one worrying? That I’m the one pressured? That I’m the one who feels the responsibility to deliver something motivational ? Could it be that I consider this my blog, that I consider these my ideas, that I think I’m the one who does this? Well, I’m not. So I can get that thought out of my head. 

This Monday, rather this Sunday, (because that’s when I’m writing this), is all about disappointment. Disappointment in myself, for spending an entire day wondering how I was going to write something motivational; wondering how I could bring the most effective message; wondering how I would find a story, a topic for Monday morning that would move and motivate you. Notice all the “I”s in that last statement and you may understand why I’m disappointed in myself. Somehow, I’ve made this post, this day, about me rather than about God.

If this blog is truly for His glory, then He will bring the ideas. If I’m truly writing to make His name known, then the inspiration will come from Him. Worry’s just another word for a lack of trust. So, don’t worry. Have faith.

On blog days, which occur everyday, I learn something; and it’s not always directly related to a message in a sermon, or to something that occurs in the concerts when I am lifting up the name of Christ. It’s the spirit of the day that inspires me and lifts me up. I then translate that to you through these posts. Why should I worry if I am truly trusting God for my inspiration?

These posts are the themes of my days. When I write them, it is under the influence of what I have done, what God is leading me to do, and the grace of a new day on the horizon. So, today’s theme is relying on God for everything, even down to what I write and the things I say. Are you trusting God to set the vibe for your day? What theme does this Monday have for you?

As always, thanks for reading.

–the anonymous novelist

When You Live In A Bus

In the late months of 2014 I had the idea to write a book about what it has been like to live in a bus. Over the course of the months of November and December, I began the writing of this book and found out that it is difficult for a fantasy novelist to write anything non-fiction, particularly non-fiction stories about himself and his life. Oh, it’s not at all difficult to write about life, but that’s all it is to me: my life. I don’t see anything interesting or peculiar about the way I live. I observe others’ reactions to it and deduce that my life is abnormal, but to me, life is life.

It took a lot of focus and inspiration from some dear friends to actually bring this book into being, but glory to God it has been finished. My two main inspirations are fellows of mine who used to blog with me: Stephen Dodd and Guy Batton. Had it not been for Stephen’s influence on my life and writing, I would likely not even be a writer today. Had it not been for Guy’s editing and revisioning talents that kept the project fresh and alive to me, I would’ve given up on the book long ago. Praise God for good friends, by their encouragement and inspiration, I have finished my first book.

Now, this is sort of an introductory item. This book is not the style I particularly enjoy writing, nor is it the length I prefer. However, as is the name of this blog, so is my writing aspirations. In order to begin my writing career, so to speak, I first need to acclimate my realm of influence to the staunch fact that I am a writer who sings, not a singer who writes. Most of the people who would claim an aquaintence with me aren’t even are that I am a writer. So, “When You Live In A Bus” will hopefully establish that fact in peoples’ minds. After this, who knows?

“When You in a Bus”, is a montage of stroies and creative renderings of what life is like on a bus. It’s purpose is to encourage people that God can use the worst poss hoe circumstances in your life to bring about the greatest possible glory to Him.

As always, thanks for reading.

–the anonymous novelist

To Make A Difference

These are the days which I spend in long hours of interospective interrogation, reflections upon my life and the world in general. My thoughts are filled with questions of purpose. What is my purpose? Am I making a difference? What does God want me to be doing?

Like a plague these questions bedazzle my mind’s eyes, the sheer depth of them is a constant reminder of my failure to capitalize on my current state of idleness. I’m in a rut where I hear nothing from God but silence. He is constant, yet quite, and I am unsure if it is for my sake, or because of my lack of faith.

The nagging feeling that something in my life is holding me back from fulfilling the Will of God for me, it lays heavy on my heart. Many a night I’ve spent in doubt, questioning my desires and plans; oft times I scoff at my own lack of direction and purpose as if it were God’s fault that I am dormant.

I need, have needed, and will always need revival for my soul. The day to day travail of doing nothing when a wealth of time is before me has taken its toll on my mind. It is maddening to think that I may be the cause of my own failures when I so desperately want to succeed. Am I not asking the right questions? Am I not praying for the right things?

Guidance from a heavenly source is my sought after desire of the moment. Lord, what would you have me do? Show me the way. It is in times such as these, when lethargy and troubling doubt falls upon my soul, that I turn to God’s bridge for me: music.

Music is my island, my escape. I don’t have to think, I’m taken away from my troubles on the wings of a song. That is why I am so excited about this week. This week is the week of the National Quartet Convention or NQC, in Pigeon Forge, TN. NQC is the largest event in Southern Gospel Music, a week of singing with over 144 artists performing and hundreds of exhibitors. The days, from 4-11 are filled with music from some of my favorite artists, including my own family. 

If ever there was an event, a time to be revived, resuscitated from my living death it is here and it is now. 

Music, like no other element, stirs my heart and rocks my soul in ways I cannot even express. The feelings run deeper when I know the singers on a personal level and their songs mean more to me. I want a difinitive word from God. I want a clear yes or no, but that’s not what he wants for me right now. Perhaps only in searching can we find meaning. If I were content I would not be longing, if I were satisfied I would not be looking, if I were al-knowing I would not be wondering.

God wants me to come to Him on His terms, not mine. And, though I know what to do, I don’t always act upon it. I want to know things now, my flesh fails in virtues such as patience. But, God loves me enough to conceal it, my future, He keeps me yearning for Him and His words by hiding a treasure that will one day be revealed. 

Though I hate the wait, I love the master. I trust His timing is what I need, and all things He has brought together for my good because I love Him. Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and He will strengthen your heart.

As always, thanks for reading, it means a lot.

–the anonymous novelist